my character.

i definitely feel as though i am a different person than i was four short months ago. through college i have had many ups and downs, and i’ve grown a lot in general. 

there is one set back that i have never dealt with at this level of consumption of my life, and that is, of course, boys. 

obviously, by my recent posts, i’ve been longing for a boyfriend because of lonliness. solely because i thought i knew better. also, i thought that talking about boys with so many people would help me figure out ways that i am good enough. but here is the reason why i am good enough, i am WHOLE in Christ. absolutely nothing else matters.

if a guy doesn’t like me for the petty reasons that i put together in my head like the fact that i may not have a model’s physique, or maybe because i’m quirky and flirting does not come naturally. hold the phone, why on earth would i want to date someone who would think that way about anyone?! 

i may not be on the cover of vogue, but i am beautiful. i may not be walking down the runway, or simply catching most guys attention, but i am so much more than that. i am called to show Christ’s love through my actions, words, and general persona.

.. this is where my character comes into play. i need to work on (and i am praying over this) the fact that boys are not lining up outside my door. and that is for a reason, just because i don’t like it doesn’t change a thing.

i don’t want people’s first thought when i come to their mind to be boy crazy, or funny awkward girl, which i feel as though i am portraying myself because i am insecure about the thing i should be 100% most secure with, and that is talking about Christ’s love for me and the way He has changed me and continues to change me.

GOD’S GOT A CRAZIER BIGGER AWESOMER PLAN FOR ME. yup, it sucks sometimes that i’m not getting asked on a date or being pursued. but that’s for a reason, and i need to focus on the face that there are bigger and better things on there way. i just need to get my priorities straight, work on developing relationships with my friends rooted through Christ, work on my relationship with the King, and everything will fall into place.

You make me new, You are making me new.